Beer Funny - Cheers

Good evening loyal beer-loving compatriots and connoisseurs!  Tonight is a fantastic night for me, and I'm sure for the rest of you as well.  But especially for me because I completed a 6 hour exam this afternoon... and I'm still alive! Wahoo!!!  So tonight, I give you a photo.  This photo is funny at first sight.  But take a moment to really discover what is happening here.

Lets get a few things out of the way first... 1. This is not me and some random woman nor is it Duns and another random woman.  This is a random dude and a random woman.  2. They are both drinking what looks to be something that isn't your standard Bud-Miller-Coors.  I could be wrong but the womans glass looks like its filled with something darker.

Now that we are past the basics, lets really delve into what is happening here.  First, look at the glass that is actually shattered.  Your first thought is that it must be the girls glass because girls don't drink awesome beer.  NAY! Girls drink better beer then most men.  If you think differently, you just aren't hanging out with the right girls!  Now, if you look close enough you will see that the guys glass is the only mug shattered in the photo.  Is this because his glass had a crack? Was it shot with a photon cannon just moments before this picture was taken? No! Of course not.  What is happening here is that the girl was far more enthusiastic about her craft beer purchase than this wimpy dude.  Shame on you sir!  Your glass should have been smashed completely through hers and on its way through the fake wood tiles in the background if you were any sort of a man.  Plus, look at his face.  He had no idea it was coming! The girl in this photo was obviously aware of the implications of an enthusiastic 'cheers' and shielded her face from impending doom.

Now take a look at this dude...

Ignore the fact that there is a huge Miller logo behind his head, this guy is clearing seeing Jesus' face in his pint glass.  The only other time you will see a guy make a face like this is if he saw a girl naked for the first time.  Actually, scratch that.  You will see a guy make this face any time he sees a girl naked.  In any case, he is clearly infatuated with his beer.  This infatuation is something our initial suspect is obviously unable to attain from enjoying a delicious micro brew.  He must hate craft beer.

If you learned anything from the last 2 minutes you spent reading my ramblings of these silly photos, it should be this;": - I don't know how to properly use punctuations.

Cheers?